its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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