Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think pants incapable of making pants work
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
