best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
