I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
