so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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