apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
