So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
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You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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