Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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