so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
