sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
