It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
