i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
