apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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