I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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