Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
