Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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