FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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