Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
