yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
