can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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