there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
