my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
