i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize