I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
