your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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