dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
