The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
