How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize