We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
