i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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