Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
