Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
