It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
