who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
