There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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