he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
