Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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