You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
