I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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