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• (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Why haven't you proposed already?

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• (409): View more from Texas

  I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me

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