You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...