Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️