sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
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Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead