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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the fashion show on bravo

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're cheating on project runway?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  if you can't score coke, you buy crack.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?

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• (530): View more from California

  Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.

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• (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts. 

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  were you high?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  When?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  Actually just blanket yes to that question

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex

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• (818): View more from California

  My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I hate how she's getting mean with age

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods

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