Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson