Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize