Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located