I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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