Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
