if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
