God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
