just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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