No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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