felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
