Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
