this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
