So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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