My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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