I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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