Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
