I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
should my penis look like a turkey
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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