Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize