I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
