do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
