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im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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